A woman from Newmarket, near Cambridge in eastern England has tried to register 2 of her cows as voters. It’s the second time she’s done this.
Last year Brenda Gould registered “Henry and Sophie Bull” and “Jake Woofies” as voters. They later turned out to be two cows and a dog and were not allowed [...]

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Oh my God! This can’t be happening!
Horrific reports are coming in of yet another shocking incident in the strife-ridden province of Aceh. Despite the peace deal reached between the Achenese rebels and the Indonesian government, it seems that this region will never be free of the barbaric practices of the Indonesian military.
It may be difficult [...]

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Legislators in Brussels, which is culturally nowhere near Blackpool, have stated that the New Working Directive also applies to donkeys, as well as to dancing bears and organ grinders’ monkeys.
Donkeys, the transport of choice for Joseph and Mary and later their son, Jesus, have carried pleasure-seeking children across the sands for donkey’s years, but now [...]

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Congress today conducted an under cover investigation of steroids in baseball. Their conclusion — the Chicago Cubs are just months away from getting nuclear weapons.
–Craig Ferguson
The congressional committee on steroid abuse this Thursday heard the testimony of six major league players including see no evil, hear no evil, and speak no English.
–Amy Poehler
There is a [...]

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“Alan Greenspan, our Fed chairman, said that Bush’s budget is such a mess that we’re going to have to either cut spending, raise taxes or start a national sales tax. You know what that means — war with Syria.”
–Bill Maher
“In Germany, President Bush this week, you know he was there, just got back. Thousands of [...]

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“Bush is denying reports today that he plans to invade Iran. Oh, we’re still going to invade, we just don’t have any plans.”
–Jay Leno
“President Bush had dinner last night with the French President Jacques Chirac and in one, kind of awkward moment, President Chirac gave Bush a souvenir statue of the Eiffel Tower and Bush [...]

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Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice warned Iran not to develop their nuclear weapons program. She said, ‘President Bush has a map in his office, and he will find you eventually.’
–Jay Leno
Jose Conseco has written a controversial book about steroids. And in it Conseco admits he used steroids. In the ’80s he also injected steroids into [...]

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“A lot of people dipped their fingers in purple ink to show solidarity with the Iraqi voters. And did you see Dick Cheney? He had five fingers that were purple and then they realized that’s just from bad circulation.”
–Jay Leno
“Numerous Republican congressmen pointed ink-dipped fingers in a no-way theatrical, photo-opy show of solidarity with ordinary [...]

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Alberto Gonzales, nominee for the U.S. attorney general, answered some tough questions from Congress today about his role in the Iraqi prison torture scandal. But afterwards he said to make himself relax he used that old trick of imagining your audience in their underwear — with hoods over their heads being led around on a [...]

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